Why were you awake at two in the morning?

 

and posting reels on your social media?

Mother

☺

Love you

Kisses

NGR

☺

I´m sorry, I have been very mean to you. 

Butt I have to say very truthful and serious. 

I´m living and loving all this beautiful piece of shit. 

I have been very mean and bad indeed. Slapping you. The real and truthful true. Is it good? Do you like it? You are a bad person. Very bad to me. Bad to my being. If it is Good? Good. It´s something and something is good. Good to my being. No Good. You make me a madman. Mad for loving you. You mean something to me. Someone. You are love. You are a love to be loved. A love that need to be loved. In need of daily care. A caress, a touch, a word. A walk hand in hand with a real and truthful person and friend. With a real and truthful love. Because the real truth, the reality, is that you have been lonely and needy. Lost in time and space. Without pair and homeless for a long time. Without a companion, a companion. Snuggle, a land, a roof, a home to live and to dream. You have been travelling and living on your meaningful home with wheels, Odyssey. Odyssey that you love so much and that you call home. You have been travelling from place to place. Into the unknown. Into uncertain places and destinations. Travelling in those beautiful wonderlands under beautiful skies. Out there all alone driving and walking on the roads, on the streets and trails in the hit and in the cold of the days and nights. Nothing there is certain. Nothing and no one is guaranteed, right, real and truthful. Only fantasies and untruthful worlds. You have been living superficial friendships, relationships and affairs. Not truthful, a butt of superficiality. 

Those ones that have been there and around all along with you since you left home. You have been lonely, feeling lonely most of the times, butt they have been present. They are there and you know it. You know something. Cause you play in strange and secret ways and with them. Butt you´re not so sure who they really are and what they have been and are doing there. The places that you have work. The social media followers. Some of them. The live chats. The communities, the travelers, even common people. All those that you have met along the way. In a coffee shop, in a market, those fast food meals. In a bar, those substances drops, taking you out of the tracks, their job. The fireworks... getting you dirty. They have been working with you. They have been working your mind, your body, your being. Scientology. Things that have been insert, input in your being along the way. In your interior. In your blood and waters. In your thought. In your data. Your most young and adult being is now different that it was. Time passed, you have grown. Physically and mentally. Your most tender, fragile and wild side. You have changed. They have changed you. Your behavior, reactions and actions are now different that were. Due to the circunstancies that you have been placed. Due to unsubscribed and ilegal medical prescriptions and carnal dates. Taking you out of the tracks, out of your own mind. Getting you dirty. Your temperament. Your hungry, thirst, despair, angry and rage. You swallow. You scream in and out. You liberate or try to liberate your being, your spirit. Are you free? No you are not. As long as they will be there you´ll never be free. You´ll be doing what you´re told to say and to do. I don´t like it. And it´s what you have been doing since a longtime ago. They trapped you somewhere some years ago. Since then you have been their lamb. Kneeling for them. Here and there. With whoever they have sent you to kneel. They have sent you on a social travel journey and leading you into set ups on the way. You´re in trouble. Yes you are. You´re enclosed in a bird cage and chained. Why? There isn´t a substancial and visual evidence on your social media and act that can prove otherwise. There´s nothing. Everything is and goes well in this wild world that we live in. The last months have been the path to the all way down. It´s visible that you´re down due to substances and fireworks but it´s what´s keeping you high, even uncontrolled, out of mind and doing the things that you have been doing. You know it and you feel it. Somehow you like it, substances and fireworks and that´s why you´re still there. I don´t like to see you there all alone. With those that you don´t know from where they come from and who they are and what they are doing there.

I´m not blaming you. It´s not your fault. You are not so strong as you may think you are. You are a woman, alone and lost. Not knowing what you´re doing and what you really want to do. There are only some highlights and headlines in your vision that are crossing in your mind and in the horizon.

The reasons why.

The things you say and write on your social media. 

The things you say, write and do to me. You love to do it. I love it too. Some of the things. Others I don´t like it at all.

You love to do it. To play with things and with people. To play games. Mostly love games. Oh love. you love to play with yourself. Touch yourself and look at me. Play your fantasies and wildest dreams with me.

You are still a little woman. Not so adult as you may think you are. Well adult for some lethal things. Yes, you are inteligente, interesting, sweet, beautiful. I like the things you do. Your papers and charcoal pencils. You write interesting and intelligent things by crooked lines. As God me sometimes writes. Sometimes God writes right things in wrong lines. The way you play with things. Letters, words, accents, scores, signs and symbols. Grammatical errors and missteps with me and even with you and others. The way you exercise your demons, dance and run. Although you need some improvement. There are some movements that you need to improve. Some mechanical and technical movements in your mind and body need to be more articulated. I have been observing and studding your skills and dotes. However I need to be there, present. To be with you. To be more closer, in touch and to exercise with you. 

The travelling. I love to travel. One of the top ten things that I love to do. Isn´t it funny? You love it too. I love to drive. You love to drive. You love adventure. I love it too. The highways, the roads, the landscapes, the mountains. The fields and the trails. The trees, the forests, the rivers, the rocks and the waters. The wilderness, the camping. I love to camp. The girls. I love girls and only girls. I love you. The fire, the beer, the meat and the fish. The bread, sauces, spices and vegetables. The rice. Non-canned products and no fast food meals. The interaction and conviviality with someone and with friends. Leisurely mornings, afternoons and evenings. The lazy moments. Days and nights doing nothing. Without having anything to do. Either work or something else. Without scales and schedules. Just being there with someone. In silence and quiet. Talking, doing whatever with Eva. With my girl.

 The shoes, the socks, the sheets and the pillows spread in the garden. The smell of the grass /. The spilled beer. The after math napkins. The tent, the motel room and the laundry to clean.

I love life. My life. My girl. I love you. 

My Princess. 

What a wonderful and magestic world I live in.

Won't I be wrong with the things that I have been blogging about you? My thoughts? The things I write and do? But when I see and read your social media isn´t it what you say? More or less it? That´s all true? Or most of it? Is it really the truth? That´s what I think. It´s what you say, write and do. You don´t talk about anything else but it. It, that I really think that is it and not fiction. That you really do. That aren´t just your fantasies and your wild dreams. That are true. Are you?

It sucks it all and eat it all. 

Do you´ Like it very much. Thank you.

It really sucks when you´re really sucked to the depth of the throat, chewed and swallowed.

That stingy is what the reality is and not what some may say about something or about someone. And to push on stingy with what some have set up to someone. Knowing that it is all a set up, that´s a false feeling and an unholy and temporary case of fireworks. It puts all in doubt. Because´ How it all happen´ Lonely heart in despair and hungry. But the fireworks is keeping it in standby. Knowing that´s all temporary. Knowing that it will not stand in one place for to long. Knowing that the trail and the output to the road is right there in the turn of the corner. Knowing you. Knowing that it happen before. Unless you really make some real changes in you. In your thoughts, ideas and perspectives and goals for the future. What do you really want to do with your life´ Have someone, being travelling all your life´ Find a land and build a home´ Live the land and the home´ Work in new projects´ Write a book´ Filmaking to produce something´ What do you really want´ Have fun´ Oh yeah Oh. Everybody loves it. To have fun is good. But isn´t there something else too´ To do, to live´ Joining, uniting and conjuring both things and others´ Life is not just fun.

 You haven´t done enough training!´ You don´t have to train. You are a woman. You just have to do when the need and reason calls you to do. And it will be enough, enjoyable and satisfactory.

Who are you´ 

You like to read and to get read. ☺

But you have no reason to be on the street saying and doing what you are told to say and to do. Does it pay´

You are intelligent, interesting and beautiful.

 Why I do it? Because I like love you. In some how and way.

The distance between us...

You there and me here.

You need love I need love.

Tell me something more about Odyssey. Tell me the meanings that Odyssey mean to you.

Odyssey, the travel, the wilderness, the cabins, airbnb and motel rooms. The spending. Without looking at the expenses and at the bottom of the wallet.

The daze

The land grounds of the wilderness. The trees trunks, the eyes, the winds and the sounds. The flowers, colors and perfumes. The rain drops that fall upon the mind and body. The grass softness and the breeze that enlightens the mind. The golden sands, the sweet and the blue waters. The doors, walls and carpets. The couchs, beds, sheets and pillows. Is it love or living fantasies, dreams, realities, mysterious pleasures and delights. 

The sunsets and the sunrises. The colorful skies. The lights of the days and nights. The sounds of the days and the nights. The dark and deep sky. The darkness, the stars and the moonlight. The silence, the quiet, tranquility and peace. 

Real people and real worlds.

Fantasies and dreams.

I need peace and quiet to be myself. 

A roof, a bed and silence to sleep and dream.

A girl like you.

Good food and wine at the table

To be the man I use to be.

I have to leave this place

Are you taking the right pills´ Did anyone change your pills´

Is it´ Are you breeding´

Please don´t tell me that.

Shit shit shit.

 I´m a Madman. Yes I am.

Good. You are not smiling.

Please

We have to focus on our work.

May God help us.

My Girl My Love.

For the love of the King.

For the love of God

My Princess 

For the love of the princess.

Of life.

Are you going to the refrigerator. To freeze it.

Also is the dog that´s driving.